Take a chill pill...among others

Every morning I take seven pills. I have one of those little plastic pill containers that divide your pills by day (one compartment for each day).

So not only do I take these pills, I also own a device designed to help those with bad memories remember if they've taken their medicine on a given day.

What am I, 85 years old?

Yes, apparently so.

Let me say, though, that all seven of these pills are voluntary. I don't have to take them the way you have to take cancer meds or something like that, but I have enough common sense to know they help me.

They include:

* Two fish oil capsules: This is for heart and brain health. I like eating fish, but no one else in my house does. So I do the next best thing and take fish oil capsules. Swallow enough of these and you probably won't have a heart attack or stroke, but you will burp up a nasty cod taste.

* Two baby aspirin: Also for heart health. I love the way they taste. It's that awesome chalky orange taste. If they could make these things into a shake, I would drink it.

* One multivitamin: Ah, but not just any multivitamin. It's a MEN'S multivitamin. I don't even know what that means. Does it make me more manly? Is it bursting with testosterone? If I take, like, five of them, will I have an irrepressible urge to go out and shoot wild animals and whistle at passing women? I think this is an experiment worth trying.

* One Vitamin D3 capsule: Those of us who live in northern climates tend not to get enough sunlight, which means we don't get enough Vitamin D, which is apparently important for heart health. You'll notice "heart health" is a recurring theme here. I had a father and sister both die from heart disease. Can't be too careful here.

* One Wal-itin pill: This is for nighttime congestion. I have no idea how or when this started, but I get really stuffed up at night these days. So now I'm addicted to nose drops. Or at least that's what Terry says. But what does she know? I CAN QUIT ANY TIME I WANT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? ANY TIME I WANT! I just don't want to. Nose drops are awesome. Unlike nasal spray, which goes up your nostrils as a fine mist, nose drops are straight liquid. You just suck a few drops up your nose and, voila, you're breathing free and clear for the next several hours. Magic.

The point is that taking these pills makes me feel old. My kids, in their loving and caring way, agree. "You take all of these?" one of them once asked. "Wow, you're old." This is why you have children -- for the love and encouragment they provide.

Anyway, I'm old and I take a lot of medicine. In hindsight, that's probably not the most compelling of blog post topics.