This is going to sound strange, but when Terry and I used to go to our children's parent-teacher conferences, it was always somewhat uncomfortable for me to hear a teacher talk at length about how much they enjoyed having one of our kids in class.
5 Kids, 1 Wife, 1 Grandchild
New posts every Monday morning from a husband, dad, grandpa, and apple enthusiast
Monday, April 27, 2026
When people say nice things about your kids
This is going to sound strange, but when Terry and I used to go to our children's parent-teacher conferences, it was always somewhat uncomfortable for me to hear a teacher talk at length about how much they enjoyed having one of our kids in class.
Monday, April 20, 2026
You live for the smile
Monday, April 13, 2026
Hang in there, Bus Stop Dad, you're doing great
My morning drive to the office takes me through 6+ miles of mostly residential streets. I see people walking their dogs, little kids playing in front yards, and bathrobe-wearing senior citizens fetching the newspaper.
Monday, April 6, 2026
There's a lot to figure out when you move into a new office
Monday, March 30, 2026
A Q&A interview with my 7-month-old grandson Cal
NOTE: It's not often we here at 5 Kids, 1 Wife, 1 Grandchild score anything you might call an "exclusive," but we've definitely hit a home run today. We're proud to present the first published interview with Calvin Edmonds, world-renowned formula expert, diaper connoisseur, and – in what I do not consider to be any sort of journalistic conflict – our grandchild. Calvin recently sat down with us to share his views on life as an infant and how easy it is to manipulate your parents and grandparents.
5 Kids, 1 Wife, 1 Grandchild (5K1W1G): Calvin, this is so exciting! Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule of rolling, crying, pooping and attending the occasional library story time to talk with us.
Calvin: It's all good, Grandpa, my pleasure.
5K1W1G: So...you've been around for 7 months now. How is it going for you? Has life been everything you expected?
Calvin: Honestly, I didn't have any expectations at all. One minute I'm in a warm, dark, cramped place, the next I'm in a hospital NICU hooked up to all sorts of machines. I had no idea there was anything outside the womb. Let's just say I'm still adjusting.
5K1W1G: Your parents, Chloe and Michael. They meet your every need and respond to your every whim. You have to be happy with their performance so far.
Calvin: Oh absolutely, they're amazing. I didn't realize I would be given my own personal servants, but now I can't imagine life without them.
5K1W1G: Any constructive feedback for them?
Calvin: I don't want to sound ungrateful, since those two are rookies at this just like I am. But I will say that sometimes when I cry, they take upwards of 15 seconds to figure out what I want and give it to me. Seven months into this gig, I don't think we need those sorts of delays.
5K1W1G: What about your Grammy Terry and me? How are we doing?
Calvin: All due respect? You guys are suckers. I thought I could make Mom and Dad do whatever I wanted, but you guys...it's like mind control. You're hilariously easy. Whatever I want, whenever I want it, you give it to me.
5K1W1G: We view it as our mission in life. Any areas of improvement for us?
Calvin: I enjoy coming to see you, but you can't drive down to my house more often? Akron too far for you to spend time with your one and only grandchild?
5K1W1G: Well, I mean, Grammy comes to your place quite often. It's just that I have to work five days a week to keep her in the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed.
Calvin: Sounds like an excuse. Let's work on that.
5K1W1G: We will, I promise. I see your mom already has you in swimming lessons and music classes. How engaged are you with these activities?
Calvin: More than you think, though my job is usually just to look around and occasionally smile to let her know I'm enjoying myself.
5K1W1G: Speaking of your mom, she plans to become a doctor. How do you feel about that?
Calvin: My experience with doctors is that they talk to you like they're your best friend then turn around and give you shots. I don't trust 'em. At some point during med school, I predict Mom is going to see through this charade and rethink her life choices.
5K1W1G: And your dad, Michael. What does he do for work?
Calvin: It has something to do with trucks. And buildings, I think. I'm not entirely sure. I mean, I'm 7 months old.
5K1W1G: With a surprisingly advanced vocabulary. Hey, I can't help but notice you have a couple of teeth now. Are you putting those to use?
Calvin: If by "putting those to use" you mean biting my mom from time to time, then yes. Food-wise, they've been giving me cereal and other mushy stuff, but nothing that really requires you to have a good set of incisors, you know? I assume the steak and hard candy will come later.
5K1W1G: What about hobbies? Any personal interests you've picked up?
Calvin: My dad and I are gamers. Well, I mean, he does the actual "gaming," but I'm usually strapped to him in the carrier while he does it. I've seen enough to know that if you put a PlayStation controller in my hands, I could dominate at FIFA.
5K1W1G: At this point in the interview, we should probably address the elephant in the room – your looks. You're a strikingly handsome fellow. Gerber Baby cute. How has that affected you?
Calvin: <sighs> Look, I appreciate the compliments, but do you know how hard it is to look this good? People treat you differently. They stare at you. They don't care about your thoughts or ideas. Like the other day, I had just finished reading "The Communist Manifesto" for the third time, and I wanted to share with Mom my criticisms of the book and where Marx went wrong. But she wasn't having any of it. Over and over, all she did was get in my face and ask, "Who's a cute boy? WHO'S A CUTE BOY?!?" Me, the answer is me. I know that, she knows that. Can we move on? I'm telling you, it's exhausting being one of the Beautiful People. You uglies have it so much easier...
5K1W1G: Wait, what?
Calvin: Nothing.
5K1W1G: Well, I think it's just about nap time for you, so one last question. If you could be a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
Calvin: Oh, Grandpa, that's so cliche. You're better than that. Why don't you just launch into your "I was on two game shows" story for the thousandth time?
5K1W1G: That hurts.
Calvin: Sorry. I love you, Grandpa.
5K1W1G: I love you, too, buddy.
Monday, March 23, 2026
I haven't been a tall person in more than 40 years, but I still occasionally do tall person things
- That pipe is probably 6 1/2 feet above the floor. I am not, have never been, nor ever will be 6 feet, 6 inches tall.
- For that matter, I am not, have never been, nor ever will be even 6 feet tall.
- The last time I was considered anything approaching "tall" was during Ronald Reagan's first term.
As I've chronicled here before, I spent a few early years of my life being tall. From about 5th grade through 8th grade, I was taller than most of my peers.
Monday, March 16, 2026
Happy birthday this week to my wife! And apparently me!
This post first appeared here on September 22, 2023. I bring it back because my wife's birthday is this Wednesday, and because she still considers us to be the same age even if officially she is a year older than me from March through November. Also, I'm now 56. And for the moment, so is she.
I ask because I don't. I never have to stop and think, "Wait, am I 52? 53? 54?"
But you know right away when you're a "milestone" age like 20, 30, 40, 50, etc. And you can usually remember if you've turned the "1" number (21, 31, 41, 51, etc.) in the last 12 months OR if you're in the final year before a milestone (19, 29, 39, 49, etc.)
Other ages, though? Yeah, they go by so quickly they can be difficult to keep track of.
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According to a study that was (for reasons that elude me) conducted by the people at Visa, the Tooth Fairy is becoming increasingly generous...
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I'm not a gardening type of guy. Many people plant vegetables or do yardwork to relax, but I would rather stick a hot poker in my eye th...
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The handsome young gentleman pictured above is Calvin, my grandson. He is two days old and the first grandchild with which Terry and I hav...







