The Legend of Johnny Flipperhands lives on

This is what my right hand looks like in 2026. In addition to being small, it's also beginning to look decidedly old man-ish. I'm not sure I like this.

NOTE: This was the very first post published on this blog back on December 12, 2011. I've updated the photo above, but the rest is just as it appeared then. And be assured...my hands are still small.

"Johnny hands." That's what I've always called my hands, because they look like they should be attached to a little 5-foot-tall guy named Johnny.

Seriously, I have the smallest hands. They don't look like they should belong to someone my age and body size. It's even weirder because the rest of me is fairly proportional. Well, except for my head. My head is freakishly large. I don't know why, but I've always had a large noggin.

And my feet, while reasonable in length (size 10 1/2), are quadruple-E in width. In some models of shoes, 4E isn't even wide enough.

So that's me in a nutshell: Large head, small hands, fat feet. Picture Fred Flintstone. That's me.

I have always had small hands. But now that my kids are growing up, my tiny appendages have become almost embarrassing. My daughter Melanie is 11 years old. If we hold our hands up against each other, palm to palm, my fingers are MAYBE an eighth of an inch longer than hers. And Elissa, my petite little 17-year-old who has trouble making the minimum weight to give blood, has fingers that are clearly longer than mine.

Don't even get me started on Jared, our 13-year-old man-child. He is not only taller than me, his fingers are longer than mine by a full knuckle. It's amazing. Where did I get these little digits? My dad had short fingers, but they were at least bulky. They had some width to them. Mine? They're the fingers of a third-grader, and I'm guessing they're not growing any time soon.

Actually, I think they're shrinking. I don't remember them ever being this tiny before. I just measured the nail on my pinky finger and it's 3/8" across. Three-eighths of an inch! There's going to come a point when my fingernails will disappear altogether – a process I have admittedly helped along because I chew them all the time.

Sometime in the next 5-10 years, I would say, my fingers themselves will just vanish. Then I'll be left with tiny flippers and no opposable thumbs, making even the most rudimentary tasks impossible. I'll need to hire a full-time assistant just to pick things up for me.

Yes, this is the fate that awaits me. Just call me Johnny Flipperhands – Master of the Large Head, Fat Feet and Tiny Mitts.

OK, let's get back to Calvin...

When my grandson Calvin was born last August, I changed the name of this blog to "5 Kids, 1 Wife, 1 Grandchild." As you might expect, the young man has gotten more than his share of exposure here over the ensuing half a year, and rightly so.

But I never wanted the blog to become "all Cal all the time," so you will note that it has been six weeks since I last posted about him.

Time for the little guy to return.

This Wednesday, Cal turns 6 months old. He rolls over like a champ, has a couple of teeth that have broken through, and delights Terry and me by Facetiming us on days when neither of us is able to see him in person.

He also sometimes wakes up a little too early for his mom Chloe's liking, and he is a master grump when tired or simply not getting his way.

Right now, Cal, his mom, and his dad Michael live about 45 minutes away from us in Akron. Where they'll be living this time next year is entirely dependent on where Chloe attends medical school.

She has already been accepted to one institution that would require her to move 2+ hours south of us. That's not ideal, but it's also not a dealbreaker. We could manage it and still see Cal and his parents regularly.

Meanwhile, Chloe is waiting to hear final decisions from two other med schools nearer to home. Acceptance to either could mean they would stay in Akron or move even closer to us.

Let the record show we would certainly not object to that.

I want what's best for Chloe and her family, honestly, but I also want the little guy with whom Terry and I are obsessed to be more accessible.

Either way, fingers crossed.

You can understand our dilemma.

How good is AI at creating a quick, one-page biography of you? (ANSWER: Pretty good)

I asked Google Gemini to produce "an image showing someone using artificial intelligence to create a bio about themselves." For some reason it gave this woman three hands, but I did like the inclusion of the two cats.

When Yahoo and Google launched back in the 1990s, one of the first things many people did was search their own names to see what information about them was available online.

Googling yourself was de rigeur.

Now we're in the age of artificial intelligence and it's still interesting to find out what our digital overlords know about us.

Here's an interesting exercise you can try. Go to an AI platform like perplexity.ai (it's free, but you'll have to register) and prompt it with something like "Create a bio for <YOUR NAME> of <CITY WHERE YOU LIVE>."

In seconds, it will take what it can find about you and create a pretty professional-sounding bio. And from what I've seen, a fairly accurate one, too.

I'll give you two examples. First, here's what Perplexity wrote about my wife:

Terry Tennant of Wickliffe, Ohio is a longtime community-focused resident known for her dedication to local schools, the arts, and public service.​

Community roots

• Terry lives in Wickliffe, Ohio and is originally from the community, reflecting deep roots in the city and surrounding area.​

• Over the years she has been involved with local organizations and families in Wickliffe, often connected to school and youth activities.​

Professional background

• Terry previously worked as a Circulation Clerk at the Wickliffe Public Library, where she helped patrons access materials and supported day-to-day library operations.​

• She has also worked at Lincoln Electric, gaining experience in a large, industry-leading manufacturing environment.​

School and music support

• Terry has played a key role in the Wickliffe High School Band Boosters, serving in leadership positions such as treasurer and helping organize and oversee booster activities.​

• As president of the Wickliffe Band Boosters, she helped coordinate donations and support for the music program, working with local partners to secure resources for students.​

Family and personal life

• Public records and community references connect Terry to a broader Tennant family network in northeast Ohio, including relatives in nearby cities such as Willowick and Euclid.​

• Friends and family describe her as someone who values time with loved ones and enjoys being actively involved in school, band, and community events

And here's what it had to say when I asked it to write something about me:

Scott Tennant of Wickliffe, Ohio is a lifelong Northeast Ohio communicator, public address announcer, and author who is closely identified with Wickliffe schools and local sports.​

Background

• Scott Tennant is a lifelong resident of Wickliffe, Ohio, a suburb of Cleveland, and continues to make his home there with his family.​

• He graduated from Wickliffe High School (Class of 1988) and has remained closely connected to the Wickliffe community ever since.​

Family and Personal Life

• Tennant is described as a husband, father, and grandfather, highlighting a strong family focus in his public profile.​

• He and his wife Terry have five children and share their home with two cats, a detail he uses as part of his personal author branding.​

Education and Early Career

• As a student-athlete at Wickliffe High School, Tennant was a four-year letter winner and team captain in track, competing as a sprinter and long jumper.​

• He also lettered in football as a running back and has spoken fondly of Wickliffe’s tightly knit community and the toughness of its athletic programs.​

Professional Career

• Professionally, Tennant has built a career as a strategic communicator, executive counsel, and development/external affairs leader for organizations in the Cleveland–Akron area.​

• His experience includes roles such as Vice President of Development and External Affairs at OneCommunity and work in writing, communications, and plan documentation for regional organizations.​

Public Address and Community Involvement

• Tennant is widely known as a public address announcer for high school, college, and minor league sports around Northeast Ohio, including serving as the stadium voice for events at Wickliffe Upper School.​

• He also works games for the Lake County Captains, a Class A affiliate of the Cleveland Guardians in Eastlake, Ohio, extending his announcing presence into professional baseball.​

Honors and Writing

• In recognition of his athletic achievements and ongoing contributions as an announcer and community sports supporter, Tennant was inducted into the Wickliffe Schools Alumni Association Athletic Hall of Fame in 2022.​

• As an author, he wrote “5 Kids, 1 Wife,” a humorous and personal look at family life that reinforces his identity as a Wickliffe-based writer and storyteller.

*   *   *

OK, we have three cats, not two. And the reference to Terry having family connections in Willowick and Euclid doesn't ring a bell. Other than that, everything else seems pretty solid.

You often hear that the AI you use now is the worst version you will ever use, meaning the technology advances and improves continuously. I'll believe that when it can tell me the correct number of felines in my house AND their names.