You don't want to know, he says

The other day, I wrote about the fact that my three oldest kids all have "significant others." What I didn't mention was that Jack, our 5-year-old, also has a girlfriend. He's very open about this relationship, as is the girl in question, Gracie.

If you had ever met Gracie, you would not blame Jack for his choice. She's just about the cutest little thing you'll ever see in your life. The boy clearly has good taste.

As I said, Jack does not try to hide his love for Gracie in any way. Most boys his age would never admit to liking a girl, but Jack is cool with it.

One of my favorite Gracie-related stories: Jack likes to walk around the house with his shirt off. I often come home from work to find him wearing only pants...no shirt, no socks, just his pants. It's his thing. One time Terry asked him, "You wouldn't take your shirt off at school, would you?" To which Jack replied, "Well, I'd take it off for Gracie!"

Both Jack and Gracie have made clear that they want to meet under the mistletoe this Christmas season. I don't know if we're talking about any specific sprig of mistletoe, or whether they're just in the market for some mistletoe in general. I'm also not sure they would know mistletoe if they saw it. I'm not sure I would know mistletoe if I saw it.

The point is, there is a mutual desire to meet under some nonspecfic mistletoe. Gracie's mom, Lynn, asked her exactly what she planned to do with Jack under the mistletoe. She smiled that little Gracie smile and said, "You know! Stuff that boyfriends and girlfriends do!" You can imagine Lynn's delight.

We asked Jack the same question as we were tucking him into bed the other night. At first he just smiled, and then he said, "You don't want to know." Well, actually, yes, we DO want to know. When pressed, he revealed that when you meet underneath mistletoe, you're supposed to kiss the other person on the cheek.

That's a relief compared to the possibilities that were running through my mind. But I still think we need to have a conversation about the inappropriateness of 5-year-olds kissing each other, and that a heartfelt pat on the back is probably as far as this should go.