Power to the people...or at least to me

This morning I snowblowed the driveway.

GRAMMAR QUESTION: Should it be "snowblew?" And is it two words or one? I need a ruling on this.

Anyway, I realize there's nothing remotely interesting about that. Every day in the winter, millions of people use snowblowers to clear their driveways, sidewalks, etc. But to me it was fun because it meant I got to use a piece of gas-driven power equipment.

See, I work in an office. With a computer and mouse. Nothing I do in the course of my job is in the least bit manly. So there's a part of me that needs to be a lumberjack or a construction foreman or an oil rig worker or something.

This is of course funny in that I have no real mechanical skill. Yet still, I have this inborn drive to play with things that are loud and that push, pull, pump, cut or otherwise destroy other things. That's how powerful this urge is in men...even if you probably shouldn't be trusted with operating these machines, you still HAVE to.

This explains, for example, why motorcycles are so popular among guys. Other guys, that is. A motorcycle is the one manly man item I've never really cared about. But most guys are all about riding motorcycles. They're loud and they go fast. They're the grown-up version of playing with Hot Wheels cars.

Incidentally, as many of my friends and family know, years ago I came up with a three-question Real Guy Test that measures your degree of manliness, and motorcycles are involved. It should be noted that I fail this test miserably. I fall short on all three pillars of guy-ness.

It's a simple test, really. Just three yes/no questions:

 (1) Without asking someone else or looking it up, do you know exactly what a joist is?

(2) Do you have -- or do you at least have an intense desire to own -- a motorcycle?

(3) Do you refer to your friends as "buddies?" (i.e., "A buddy of mine runs one of those generators on the back of his truck.")

If, like me, you answered "no" to all three of those questions, you might as well put on a dress and watch "The Notebook." One "yes" answer means there's hope for you, but you're not going to be voted Guy of the Year any time soon. Two "yes" responses show you're solidly manly and should be confident in your male-itude, while three "yes" answers indicate that, should you and I get into fight, even if I outweigh you by 50 pounds, you will almost certainly beat me to a pulp.

Anyway, like I said, despite all of this, nature dictates that I use loud machines from time to time. When we moved into our current house, my favorite part was driving the big UHaul truck. We used to have an old chainsaw and a chipper/shredder that I would mess with. And again there's the joy of the snowblower, which while not exactly brimming with horsepower, throws snow far enough that I feel powerful when I use it.

I understand there are many women who also like to use power tools. The difference is that with females, this is an individual, personality-related trait. In men it's primal. It's a part of who we are and what we do.

If I could make the Tim Allen manly growl sound right now, I would.