I have nothing to write about

I was afraid this was going to happen.

When I started this blog back in mid-December, I worried I wouldn't have enough material to sustain it for very long. But I went ahead with it anyway, and for the last four months things have worked out pretty well.

But now it's Sunday night at 9:30, and I've got nothing. I guess I've developed a sort of schedule where I always have a post up on Monday mornings. Not that anyone's day is going to be ruined if I don't put something up, but you know, when you actually start to get semi-nasty Facebook messages from people asking where the latest post is, you do feel some pressure.

(NOTE: I don't want to create the wrong impression here. It's not like I have hundreds of people emailing me when I don't post. Not even dozens. More like...several? Too strong. A few? Too weak. Somewhere in between, then.)

Trust me, I'm not complaining or anything. I'm grateful that anyone is willing to take a few minutes out of their busy day to read my ramblings. In four months, the blog has had almost 13,000 pageviews...way, way more than I would ever have guessed. So really, I'm very appreciative.

This is the thought process I've gone through over the past hour:

"OK, let's see, what should I write about? Hmmmmmm. <I look out the window and see a bird.> Birds? How about birds? Is there anything remotely interesting or funny to say about birds? No, that's silly. I can't believe I even considered that. Come on, Scott, you can do better. Think! THINK!

"Family-focused. That's what the blog is supposed to be: family-focused. What has the family done today that would lead to 500 words? Well, Elissa worked for four hours. Nothing exciting there. Chloe did a paper for school then went out with Chris Dorazio and his parents. That's certainly not new. Melanie did homework. Jared went to the park and was hanging out with his girlfriend. And Jack spent something like 27 consecutive hours playing Moshi Monsters on the computer.

"Nothing there. Oh man, that's seriously boring stuff. There's nothing there at all. What should I write? What about me? I could write about myself (NOTE: As if I don't ever do this already.) Have I written about my tiny hands? Yeah, we covered that a while ago. How about the fact that I can't fix anything? Yep, been there. What about the whole washcloth-in-the-shower thing? Darn, just did that a few days ago.

"Elissa has settled on a college. Maybe there's something there? (ANOTHER NOTE: Did I tell you Elissa is going to Cleveland State in the fall? I don't think I did. I posted it on Facebook, but not here. The trouble is, well, there's not a lot to say about it. Not until she actually leaves for school. And even then she's only going to be, like, 25 minutes away, so I'm not sure how good that experience will be for blog material. I can only whine about the cost of college so many times before I start losing people. Anyway, back to my thought process...) Burping! I can write about the fact that I'm incapable of burping! Except that it may be good for two paragraphs, and after that there's not much to say. Most people burp. I don't. Or at least rarely. It's tragic, but hardly compelling.

"I could write about Italians. I like Italian people..."

I came perilously close to making this post about Italians and the fact that I really do like them. I've lived my entire life in a city that was originally settled, in large part, by Italian immigrant vineyard workers. When my mom and dad moved here in the early 60's, they were part of a small contingent of token WASPs allowed to enter the city, most likely as some early attempt at cultural diversity. I have no Italian blood, but I admire Italians. The ones I know are funny, loving, loyal people.

And again, that's all I have to say about that. So while I do like Italians (and Chinese people and Eskimos, for that matter), I can't fill a blog post with them.

Speaking of which, the word "blog"...a point of clarification of interest only to me, I think: People will often say, "Hey, I really liked your blog the other day," when in fact they clearly mean they liked a particular blog post. The website that houses these musings of mine is a blog. The blog is called "They Still Call Me Daddy." A particular day's offering is a blog post.

I shouldn't even have written that paragraph. It just sounds snobbish and rude. The last thing you want to do, as a blogger, is alienate your readers. I'm sorry about that. Really, I apologize. No offense intended. I hope you'll forgive me.

Now it's 9:45 p.m. I still have to shower, shave, brush my teeth, pack a lunch for tomorrow, and take care of a few other things. And I have YET to come up with a decent blog topic. I can't believe this is happening.

All right, how about this: How about if we just call it quits right here and I promise to get you something tomorrow for Tuesday morning. Is that fair? Can we agree on that? Well, actually, given the one-way nature of this conversation until I post this, you're going to HAVE to agree on it. Because frankly, if you've come this far, you're clearly not all that hard to please in the first place.

I'll see you tomorrow morning...