Jobs I do around the house because I'm the man

My inability to fix things and/or do anything remotely mechanical is well documented. And I freely own up to it. But there are still certain jobs I do within our household simply because I have testicles.

I don't know why these are Man Jobs, but they are. My list includes the following:

(1) KILLING BUGS
This is pretty stereotypical, and it's also true. My wife and daughters - strong, confident women all - will force me to fly in from the other side of the continent, if necessary, if a spider is found in our kitchen. They could easily squash it themselves, but for whatever reason, insect and arachnid killing falls to me or my son Jared.

(2) CLEANING THE CAT LITTER BOXES
As I've mentioned  before, I got roped into this one years ago when Terry was pregnant with Elissa. Terry and her doctor conspired to make up a fake disease called toxoplasmosis, which they claimed pregnant women could contract if they come into contact with cat waste. I stupidly believed them, and 20 years later the first thing I do every single day is still cleaning the litter boxes. I can't believe I fell for it.

(3) MAINTAINING THE CARS
This may seem surprising, given my aforementioned lack of mechanical aptitude, but all it really means is that every few weeks I pop the hoods on our cars to check that they have the proper levels of windshield washer, transmission and power steering fluids, coolant, oil, etc. I also make sure the tires are inflated to the correct pressure. This not only extends the life of our vehicles, it also makes me feel semi-manly. Everybody wins.

(4) CLEANING UP PEE, BOTH ANIMAL AND HUMAN
If one of our cats pees on the carpet and I'm home, I clean it up. I'm not sure why this is, but I'm fine with it. The problem is that, from time to time when the kids were little, they would also pee on the carpet, and again...the clean-up was assigned to me. Like this one time, one of my daughters who shall remain nameless was sleepwalking at our old house. Wearing her little Barbie nightgown, she stood at the top of the stairs and announced, "I can't take it anymore." And then she just started peeing. Terry cleaned her up and got her back to bed, while I soaked up the pee and broke out the stain remover. The unwritten rule is that Scott is to clean up any and all urine-related incidents within the confines of the house.

(5) MAKING SURE THE KEURIG RESERVOIR IS FULL
Our Keurig coffee maker gets used a lot. Which means the water level in the little plastic reservoir attached to the machine tends to drop quickly. In almost all cases, I'm the one who fills it back up. Again, I don't know why, but it bothers me to see that "Add Water" indicator on the little Keurig screen, so I'm quick to take it over to the sink and fill it up. It's my job. It's what I do.

I'm The Man.