Who do you want to die first: You or your spouse?

No, really, I'm asking this seriously. Would you rather die first? Or would you rather that your husband/wife die first?

And don't do that noble "Oh, I would willingly sacrifice myself so that my spouse could live on" thing. I want a straight answer: Deep down, if you could make the choice and no one would know, would you choose to live longer yourself? Or would you let your significant other carry on while you're six feet under?

Short of homicide, none of us has a say in the matter, of course. And statistics tell us that in the majority of cases, the wife lives longer than the husband, since women tend to outlive men.

But if you had to decide, what are you going with?

If you say you would rather live longer, there are some pros and cons to consider:

PROS
The most obvious one, duh, is that you get to live longer. That falls right in line with natural survival instincts. Also, all those years of waking up cold because your spouse pulled the covers off you? Gone. You can now spend the remainder of your days (or nights, I guess) in toasty warm comfort. You're also a Committee of One when it comes to making such important decisions as what movie to watch on Friday night or how to hang the toilet paper (NOTE: It should definitely be "over" and not "under.")

CONS
Well, let's be serious here. You're going to be awfully lonely if you're the only one left. I watched my mom make a series of painful life adjustments after my dad died 15 years ago, and I give her credit for doing it as well as she did. I'm not sure I could handle it. Also, all of the chores the other person always did – which they probably took over because you hated those jobs so much – are suddenly your responsibility. It's something to think about.

There's also this complicating factor: If you decide you want to be the one to go first, that means you're purposely saddling your spouse with all of the "cons" listed above. Nice going. You just made their Life After You even MORE miserable.

I've always joked with Terry that, given my family history of heart disease, this isn't even a question for us. I'll be dead and buried and she'll still have 20 or 30 good years in front of her. But if I had to choose? Wow....I don't know. I guess I would still choose to die first.

NOTE TO TERRY: When I'm gone and you have to take over cleaning the cat litter boxes, you should remember to always keep at least 3 inches of litter in each box. Otherwise those balls of smelly cat urine tend to stick to the plastic and are hard to scrape off. You're welcome.