Wednesday, April 15, 2015

I do our taxes and I'm pretty sure I don't do them right

I know a lot of people who hire an accountant or H&R Block or a friend to do their taxes.

Not me. Ever since we've been married, I've handled preparing and filing our federal, state and local income taxes.

I have no formal training in finance, tax law or generally accepted accounting principles, yet year after year I take on the responsibility of filling out these forms on behalf of myself and my wife, knowing that I'm risking an audit or, frankly, arrest.

Because I'm pretty sure I never get it quite right. Which is saying something since I use the popular TurboTax software to do my taxes, and the creators of that program try their best to make the whole thing as easy as possible.

And 95% of it really is easy. It's just a matter of filling in numbers and answering relatively simple questions.

But there are always a few things on my taxes about which I'm not quite sure. Like, for example, when and how to claim my daughter Elissa's college expenses. Or how much to claim. Or even why I'm claiming them in the first place.

A good, conscientious person would take time to do research not only to get the numbers right, but to ensure he or she fully understands the applicable tax code.

Then there's me. Once I start doing taxes, my only goal is to finish doing taxes, and to finish them as quickly as possible.

So if I'm the least bit stumped, I kind of guess a little. To my credit, I try to guess in a direction that favors the government rather than me. But I do guess somewhat.

In the end we always end up getting a sizable refund, not because I'm a tax genius or anything, but mainly because we have five children. And the tax code is set up such that you are encouraged to be prodigious in your childbearing. Got 10 kids? Cool, we're give you a deduction for each and every one of them.

It's always with some degree of trepidation that I click the "File" button in TurboTax to send my information to the IRS. I second- and third-guess myself, but I rarely change anything I've already entered. At some point when it comes to taxes, you figure prison is probably preferable to combing through that stack of receipts one more time to make sure you got everything right.

This past year my employer stopped withholding local tax from my paycheck. When that happens you're supposed to make proactive, quarterly estimated payments to your local tax authority, which we sort of tried to do with the City of Wickliffe but failed.

And then, when I did file our city taxes, I forgot to mail a W-2 form. So the city sent me a letter, the gist of which was, "Hey genius, thanks for your tax forms. Wanna send us a copy of the ol' W-2 this time?"

At least they didn't audit or arrest me. Which is more than I can probably say for the IRS once they stumble on this post.

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