"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing."
I have the very best intentions in life (I think). I want to be a good Christian, a good husband, a good father, a good professional, and a good coach. And I have a pretty clear idea of what I need to do in order to excel in each of those areas.
The problem, of course, is just what Paul says: "For what I want to do, I do not do..." I want to read the Bible every day, get the right amount (and right kind) of exercise, eat the most healthy foods, give my kids the best advice, etc.
But at any given time, I only do some of those things. And just when I think I have one area mastered, I move on to address another, and the first area goes back to its old, substandard ways.
I realize nobody is perfect. I know I'll never be at the top of my game when it comes to every role I have to play in life.
But my greatest flaw – the most limiting of my many less-than-desirable characteristics – is my inability to appreciate what I already have and what I do well, but instead to focus on the never-ending list of things I don't (and perhaps cannot) do well.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, right? I want to make so many changes to my life that sometimes I don't know where to start. I should begin with one thing, I know, but which thing? And how do I improve it? And how much improvement is enough?
Rather than just starting somewhere and concentrating on one thing, I allow myself to be paralyzed by the whole.
I need to get better at that.
I trust you'll see the irony there...
No comments:
Post a Comment