There is no stink like how-your-child-smells-after-a-game stink

Back when I was a newspaper sports writer, I covered a lot of minor league hockey. This involved attending games and practices, interviewing athletes, writing game stories on deadline, and just generally trying to gather and disseminate the information that hockey fans would presumably want to know.

It also involved going into the locker room after games to talk to coaches and players. Anyone who has ever played hockey at any level, or who is the parent of a player, is familiar with the smell that pervades hockey locker rooms. It's an all-conquering stench resulting from weeks' or months' worth of sweat soaking into pads and jerseys. You don't ever really get rid of it so much as you just try and mute it.

I had forgotten abot this smell until recently when I picked up my son and two of his friends after they had played a high school football game. The three boys, none of whom had yet showered, got into my car, and the stink immediately assaulted my senses. Even though these weren't hockey players, they smelled just as bad as any group of hockey guys I had ever encountered.

Worse yet, the smell stayed in my car for a couple of days. I had to air the vehicle out for a few hours before I could stand driving it again.

You parents of young athletes know what I'm talking about, right? And it's not just limited to boys. The girls are just as bad. Driving home after girls high school soccer games can be brutal, especially if one of them decides to take off her stinky cleats in the car. Good gracious, it's bad.

Maybe I'm remembering this incorrectly, but I recall showering in the locker room after every one of my football games when I was in high school. Do kids not do that now? Do they prefer their home showers?

I don't know. All I know is that the aroma nearly knocks me unconscious sometimes.

Strangely, someday I'll miss that smell, I'm sure. But for now? I'm tossing a few cans of air freshener into each of the kids' stockings this Christmas.