I am, and long have been, an incurable goody two shoes

I want to start by assuring you happy potheads out there that it is pure coincidence I'm writing this post on 4/20. You will see why that's relevant in a minute...

Quite often I see people post "Never have I ever" or "Give yourself 1 point for everything you haven't done" memes on Facebook. These are generally lists of dangerous, illegal, or what are considered to be just plain "bad" activities.

I'm not sure whether to be proud or embarrassed by this, but I always score really high on those lists. While I've written before about some of the stupid stuff my friends and I did as pre-teens, if I'm being honest, I rarely did much of anything morally questionable after that.

Never once in my life have I:

• Smoked anything, whether it was a cigarette, a cigar, a joint, or anything similar. Like, literally, I've never actually performed the act of smoking (and I can't imagine doing it).
• Taken any illegal drugs. No pills, no injections, nothing snorted, and as noted, nothing smoked.
• Been arrested.
• Skipped school.

Not that it's "bad," but I never went clubbing, either. And as far as drinking, yes, I've been drunk, but nowadays I average maybe one drink every month or two, and it's usually a very tame light beer.

Now that I think about it, I'm proud of all of this. Not because I'm " better" than anyone else (I'm most certainly not), but because, for the most part since my teen years, I've always stuck to just being me, and not what anyone else wants me to be or thinks I should be.

I know a lot of people who tell stories about their younger years and the things they used to do, and I think it gives them a certain perspective on life that I lack. I could never write novels, for example, because I can't relate to a significant part of some people's lives and therefore could never convincingly write about them.

Part of the reason for all of this, of course, was that I got myself a good woman early on, and she pretty well kept me in line. But also, like I said, none of that is really "me." It would have felt disingenuous for me to indulge in any of it.

Still, I wonder if I should spend some time now sowing my wild oats. There's nothing more attractive than an obnoxiously drunk 51-year-old being pulled out of a bar and thrown into jail for disorderly conduct, right?

Yeah, on second thought...