I have no idea how I'm going to feel as you read it on May 26, but as I write it, I can say unequivocally that the pandemic/unemployment lifestyle is driving me insane.
I am a creature of habit and generally thrive on routine...just not this one.
My days are endless loops of driving Jack wherever he needs to go, taking care of the cats, washing dishes, making the bed, doing laundry, cleaning up as needed, and of course, looking for a job.
None of those activities is especially unpleasant, but taken together, it's all becoming a little tedious.
You know how so many American housewives back in the 50s and 60s got hooked on pills because they couldn't stand living the same day at home over and over and over? I absolutely empathize.
I admittedly also get to do more enjoyable things like play my sax, write these posts, watch TV with Terry, read, etc. But it just feels like the menu of options is limited, and I've ordered everything on it several times already.
This is privileged, First World whining of the highest degree, I know. I am in a very fortunate position compared to many. It's just that I'm not at all good at being bored.
Some people are, you know. I'm not one of them.
(Incidentally, it is not lost on me that my wife has lived this life for many years, particularly during those long-ago days when I would go to the office and she would take care of the house while tending to a large brood of small children every day. But she is superhuman and thus doesn't count in this discussion.)
I need to start working again. I'm very confident the right opportunity will come along, and possibly very soon. But until then, well...
I would be fine if I never unloaded a single dish from the dishwasher ever, ever again.
Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand. You've already counted your blessings. This, too shall pass and you'll be happy working again in a great job. Keep the faith!
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