Try as I might, I don't think I really understand what cryptocurrency is

 

If you pay any attention at all to the news or online chatter, you very likely have come across the term "cryptocurrency." Or at least you've heard of specific examples of cryptocurrency like Bitcoin.

Here's the thing with cryptocurrency: I kind of get what it is, but I kind of don't.

Not that you should ever rely on Wikipedia to be the definitive source for anything, but here is how Wikipedia defines cryptocurrency:

"A cryptocurrency, crypto-currency, or crypto is a digital asset designed to work as a medium of exchange wherein individual coin ownership records are stored in a ledger existing in a form of a computerized database using strong cryptography to secure transaction records, to control the creation of additional coins, and to verify the transfer of coin ownership."

Why yes, of course! How could I be so dense?

Seriously, though, I do understand parts of that definition. "Medium of exchange" is clear enough. That's what "real money" (i.e., dollars and cents") is for most of us. And it's all kept track of online through a strongly protected accounting ledger that basically says who owns how much crypto and how it changes hands.

But like...how does it work? How do you use it? I'm sure it's pretty easy, but I don't know the answers.

It gets more confusing when you start talking about Dogecoin, which was apparently created as a joke but is somehow actually legit? Maybe?

Please understand that I never wanted this to happen. And by "this," I mean fundamental changes to the world that I simply can't grasp. Or at least I didn't want them to happen until I was, like, 90 years old and had an excuse to not really understand paradigm shifts of this nature.

But I'm only 51. This shouldn't puzzle me like it does.

It would probably help if I started my own crytocurrency. I'm going to call it CarCoin, and the entire system will be based on the several dollars' worth of literal coins I keep in a little compartment in my Honda Civic. I have them there in case I need, for example, an extra couple of pennies to create exact change at a drive-through.

If you're willing to give me three bucks, I will allow you to be an investor in CarCoin. Or at least I think I will, because I'm not exactly sure that's how it works.