It’s never quite the same once they leave home

Four of our kids are in their 20s, but they’re at very different stages of their lives.

Elissa is 27 and has a thriving career as a marketer and a long-term partner in Mark.

Chloe is 24, married, and living in her first house with her husband Michael while pursuing her PhD.

Jared is 23 and less than four months from earning his undergraduate degree before embarking on a career in sports communications.

Melanie is less than a week shy of 21 and in the middle of a 5 1/2-month stay in Orlando as part of the Disney College Program.

The former two live on their own, while the latter two live with us (or at least Mel does when she’s not baking in the Florida sunshine operating a water slide at Blizzard Beach).

What they have in common, though, is that all of them have spent at least some period of time living away from home. And my observation is that once they do that, once they spend even a semester or so living at school or whatever, everything changes for good.

Yes, they may come back and live with you again, but the dynamic is forever altered. They suddenly feel much more on their way out, no matter how long they remain under your roof.

And that’s a good thing. Your job, from the moment they came into the world, was to help them eventually become responsible, productive, independent adults. If they’re close to doing that, then kudos to you, Mom and Dad. Ya done good.

That does not, however, mean we as parents are always thrilled with the idea. It was maybe 7 minutes ago that all of them were toddling around the house in diapers, a sippy cup in one hand and a stuffed Barney toy in the other.

And now, they’re a lot closer to their permanent departure than they are to their arrival.

Again, that’s good, but it makes me a little sad. A mixed blessing if ever there was one.

Jack, fortunately, is only 15, so we’ve got time there. But it’s time I now know will go by way, way, way too fast.

And, if I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, I’m bringing his flight from the nest closer to reality by teaching him the things you need to know to live on your own and be a grown-up.

Maybe just this one time I’ll slack off a little.