I eat fast food maybe twice a year. I don't think I'm really cut out for it.

It just wasn't worth it.

The danger of railing against fast food is that you can easily come off sounding preachy and self-righteous.

So let me say from the outset, I am far from perfect. I make questionable food choices all the time.

Still, if you looked at my diet over a long period, you would likely conclude that I'm a relatively "healthy" eater. Which is why, when I do grab myself a fast-food burger, it rarely goes well.

Once my body realizes I've ingested a slab of fried meat and a cardboard sleeve of greasy fries, it immediately lodges a formal physiological protest.

It's not intestinal or anything. It's just that vague overall feeling of being stuffed, bloated and nutritionally deprived. I lose most of my energy and virtually all of my will to live as my digestive system begins working through the processed glop I have given it.

That's when I tell myself, "OK, even twice a year is too much. I shouldn't be eating this stuff."

And I don't, at least until another six months go by and I need to grab something on the run. I try to convince myself that maybe it will be better this time.

It never is.

You can make fun of my almost-daily kale salads all you want. At least with kale I've never considered giving up eating permanently.