Monday, July 24, 2023

My wife makes fun of me for that time I was a neighborhood narc


This happened maybe 15 years ago. It was the Fourth of July or right around there, and some people who lived near us were shooting off fireworks.

We didn't have babies in the house at that point, but these were loud fireworks and we could hear (and feel) them even with the windows and doors closed.

After a while, a Wickliffe police cruiser appeared on our street, driving slowly past each house. The officer was peering into backyards, presumably trying to figure out where the amateur fireworks artists were located (setting off fireworks without a license/permit was illegal in Ohio at the time).

Seeing him out our front window, I opened the door and helpfully yelled, "I think they're over on Jackson! One street over!"

I did this with the noble intention of helping the police, who I've always thought have a pretty tough job. It seemed altruistic to me.

My wife thought differently. As soon as I came back in the house and closed the door, she looked at me and asked, "Did you just snitch on the people setting off fireworks?"

Well...yes, I had. But "snitch" is such an ugly word. I preferred to think of myself as more of a "citizen law enforcement agent."

Terry wasn't buying it. I believe she saw me in a new light from that moment on...and not a good one.

To this day, especially in early July, she will often say to me in a mocking voice, "They're over there! Over there! One street over!"

If she keeps this up, I will have her arrested for harassment. She forgets I have friends in the police department.

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