Someone please explain to me why I do this

A bit of TMI: Some years ago, I made the switch from boxer shorts back to briefs. Why I made this decision is of no consequence, and honestly, you don't care anyway.

Rather than going with the standard tighty-whiteys, though, I opted to buy a few packs of Hanes multi-colored. I don't know why I did this, but the result is that I now have a festively-hued array of gotchies from which to choose each day.

SIDE NOTE: When I was growing up in the 70s and early 80s, my friends and I would sometimes refer to underwear as "gotchies." I always thought it was the Polish word for underwear, but apparently it derives from the Ukranian for "trousers." Either way, I have always found the word to be hilarious.

Anyway, I have at my disposal a range of colors when it comes to selecting underwear. I own pairs in red, purple, turquoise, blue and gray, among other choices.

Almost invariably when I'm getting dressed in the morning, I put on one of the muted colors. And when I shower at night and then put on another pair, it's always going to be one of the more vibrant colors.

You know that thing where mothers tell you to have on clean underwear in case you get into an accident? I think that has something to do with why I choose boring colors during the day and brighter ones at night.

Basically, if I do get into that hypothetical accident, or if someone for whatever strange reason ends up seeing my underwear that day, I would rather it be something more "conventional." I am apparently going to be embarrassed if you find out it's 10 o'clock in the morning and I'm wearing candy apple red unmentionables.

This is stupid, yes, but it's also worrying. Why do I care what you think about my choice of underwear color? For that matter, why would you care in the least? Why am I influenced by someone else's opinion on this, especially when there's at best a miniscule chance that anyone not named Terry Tennant will even see my underwear?

I thought I was more mentally well-adjusted than this, I really did.

Maybe tomorrow, in an attempt to break free from my illogical self-consciousness, I'll wear purple.

Actually, it's more of a plum color.

I am, by any definition, a rebel.